Let’s talk about shame and how hiding it won’t help.
We all have something in our lives we are ashamed of. Maybe you are ashamed of lots of things in your life. Did you know hiding that shame won’t help heal it? With love and compassion towards ourselves we can bring shame to the light and begin to heal all the negative surrounding it. We are all human, and shame is a part of being human but you don’t have to hide it. Bring truth and healing to it. Be authentic in telling you whole story. Everyone else has shame too. Maybe they will find great courage in your story to be able to live their own story too. Together we can heal.
On this blog I bring to light all the stories I tell myself. Good or bad. So that maybe my story of my shame might help someone else.
I suffer from severe clinical depression and acute anxiety. There, that’s my shame for many years. I hid my mental illness from the world as best I could. Instead of standing up and being authentic, I tried to be someone else and would almost always fail miserably at it. By telling my story of depression & anxiety I became free. I felt the bonds of shame lift. I felt the stigma surrounding mental illness go away. I saw others in a new light. Bringing the light to my illness is helping me get well. Everyday I am less shameful of my mental illness and more open to my fellow human to share. Everyday I am getting better and have less depression and anxiety. Over the past three years I have been on a path to wellness. It’s a long and sometimes scary road to face my fears but I am doing it and so can you. I urge you to take a step and get help. No body has to suffer alone. Seek professional help in whatever manner you see fit. Know it’s perfectly ok to get help. There is NO shame in getting help. In fact, it’s AWESOME, I urge you to get help regarding whatever you need in your life, career, business, self-care, etc. In my journey to wellness I invested in myself and got a life coach who helped me heal my fears and shame. Her name is Christine Hassler @christinehassler.com . Maybe she can help you too. Find someone with whom you resonate with. I know for me about 4 years ago I discovered Christine’s words through a blog I read daily. I remembered the way it felt to connect to her, and seeked her out to help me on my wellness journey path. Two years later I am so very grateful to have her in my life.
I think there are many people out there that could use a little compassion and love, when it comes to their shame. Listen to your friends and family more closely, you might find a story there in their hearts that resonates with you too. Together you can heal each other. Let’s put out shame out on the table for all to see, you would be amazed at the freedom it will bring you. Take one small step at a time. Share your shame with someone you utterly trust first, even if that someone is a professional you pay to listen to you, like a therapist. Then another. Keep going till it’s no longer shameful, till you feel the freedom you so deserve.
I want to share a wonderful podcast by Christine Hassler, regarding shame. Click image below to listen in.
Finding courage to move forward in life is hard. I know, I am in that mode right now. I want to keep moving my life forward but staying in my comfort zone seems more appealing. Truly an internal conflict.
Working with my life coach, I am finding strength and courage to “Just Do It”, that’s right, just get out there and do what must be done. Put aside fear, shame, remorse, worry, etc., and keep pushing forward no matter what. What’s the worst that can happen? Um, nothing really. Don’t let worry of failure in your mind keep you still; in one place. You have to step up and move forward. Take baby steps! Reach out to one person in your life and share a “play” date. Visit a place you have never been before. Drive a drive you have not gone before. Write on your blog a topic your not so comfortable sharing but realize your discomfort might help one person in the process. All these things I just said, I am actually working on. There is a lot of resistance to do these things but I am supported by friends and family to do them. I go forward with their love in my heart. But most of all I support my own growth.
Do I feel shame, sure. I moved to Florida only to realize it’s not the place for me, so I moved back home to Northern Kentucky recently. I am even living with my in-laws till my home is ready for me. Deep down I feel a little shame but you know what, there really isn’t any shame in realizing something is not right for you. We all have minds to make choices in life and use them! Don’t let others shame you into feeling bad for what you choose. My family and friends are here in NKY, so that is where my heart is living and so must I physically. I never once while living a year in Florida stopped calling this area “home”. Ding Ding Ding, big universal sign pointing me home.
Just a few years ago I was super stuck in my comfort zone. I am no longer that person. I am in the integration phase of my self-development, and this is where the rubber really meets the road. Let’s get moving. It is not easy for me at all. I have a ton of resistance and fear but I am learning to live with those emotions and do it anyways.
Find a friend, lover, relative, someone to help you stay accountable with your improvement, someone who will push you further than you thought you could go. Reach out to someone for help. But just keep moving and just do it. You won’t really improve if you don’t do. Don’t try, do! Nothing bad will happen. Who knows what wonderful things might happen along the way. And your confidence in yourself will only grow.
I encourage you to step outside that comfort zone. I wish you all the best. Comment below if you need help/or want to celebrate a big win in life, I’d love to hear all about it. Love and light, Rebecca ^_^
Want to learn more about the phases of self-improvement and how you too can move forward?..watch this video below.